And I loved you first...

So things have been moving excruciatingly slowly with G. I think it's alright, though, because the speed that he is regulating things at is probably exactly the speed I need to go because I get anxious and overexcited and blow things all to hell, and that's never good. He did inform me he doesn't like aggressive girls, but he was talking in the context of an ex-interest, so I don't think he meant it directly to me, and when I told him I hoped I wasn't being too pushy, he didn't say anything, so I am assuming I am okay. I've called him a couple of times and instigated two "dates" - one was a big bunch of people hanging out at L's, and the other was a one-on-one dinner the night before last (Monday).

It was a nice change to have him face-to-face without anyone else around, really, and not worrying about tourists sneaking up on us and hearing us talking about non period appropriate things. I really like talking to him and we spent three hours (until they started mopping the floor around us) just talking, etc. Though I had insisted while he was gone to the restroom that the bills be separate, he took my bill when he came back and insisted on paying it (but let me tip the waitress).

We stood in the parking lot and talked in the freezing cold for another twenty minutes, and then he cleaned my van's headlights and told me to drive carefully and slow down a little bit and patted me on the shoulder - but I am pretty much convinced it was not a "friendly" pat - more of a "this is all I get because you already got in your car without hugging me first". Anyways, I am not going to stress too much about that bit... try not to anyways.

We talked about all the stuff you're not supposed to talk about on first dates - like our exes and our situations in life - financially, mentally, etc. It's pretty obvious that neither of us are really in a position to get into a serious relationship right now (I live with my parents and he is more or less homeless - I am in a financial bind and he is HOMELESS), but I think we can enjoy one another's company and cross those bridges when (IF) we get there. It really felt like we were laying out all the informations so the other could see what we were REALLY like and be able to make the decision to carry on or not. Lots of "this is how I am in a relationship", "my personality is like this", etc. It felt natural and right, anyways.

I've decided to just enjoy this and let it come as it would and carry on. I have nothing to lose, really - he is not the type that would let a failed attempt at a relationship interfere with our friendship.