Marks only I can see...

I am sure that my mood over the last couple of days has been due to PMS, which is good - normal periods are good, according to the doctors.

But I am frustrated. I'm frustrated in a lot of ways, of course, but I am REALLY frustrated with the medical stuff that is going on.

In grade 9, the first hair appeared - I remember it like it was yesterday - a person I am no longer friends with saw it and pointed it out (way not to make me self concious!) and asked if my boyfriend at the time liked to "nibble on it" (WTF? Can you see why I am not friends with her anymore?). Stuff lay dormant for a while but in the last couple of years, I have sprouted a very disturbing and alarmingly increasing amount of hair on my chin and on my neck. I am growing a beard. It's very disconcerting and defeminizing for me. It is just ravaging my skin to pluck it, waxing makes me bleed, and I KNOW that there is a reason that it's growing, not that it's just growing, and my doctors don't seem to be taking it very seriously. I had an appointment with a great dermatologist who basically said he was referring me back to my GP... but has not called or made contact with her.

None of them seem to realize that in the meantime, I am suffering. Not physically (well, it does hurt to pluck and it's destroying my skin), but emotionally. Today, I had a horrible brain wave in which I remembered that I have been single for five years and I have a beard. In correlation, it makes me feel terrible. What if the reason I am single is because of my hair growth?

I was feeling pretty down in the kitchen so I decided to buy myself a new notebook from the giftshop and announced it. Our salad line woman who is the sweetest lady in the world, gathered all the particulars without me realizing what she was doing and when I went in to buy it, the gift shop lady said "This is a gift." and handed me back my money! It made me cry a little, which I had already been doing that day. *sniff*