Just say goodnight and go...

The more I think about it, the more happy I am with my decision to give up on Roux. He is not now, and at 35, probably never will become the man I want and need him to be. I have learned much, including how to well and truly love myself, extra pounds and all, through him, so I can't be angry or bitter, I can just be slightly melancholy and smile a little sadly.

I think what bothers me the most is that, though he does have plans, and sometimes even ambition to get them rolling, he doesn't seem satisfied with allowing what he has in the now to flourish while he works toward what he wants. Like, all I can think about now is starting my summer riding camp, but in the meantime, I am still working, working toward it and where I am at right now is not my "ideal", or where I want to be exactly right now, but I am happy with what I have and I feel like he isn't. I have my own problems to deal with and I don't need his. I really want to remain friends with him because he's interesting and I think he has a lot to offer but in the meantime, I am just done.

My Facebook status the other day was:

I sure feel like I am kissing a lot of frogs lately - romantically and otherwise. Oh well! Every mistake is a lesson learned and one step closer to getting it RIGHT. <3 I love myself enough to let myself have the opportunity to get what I deserve, and not what I am settling for!

And that's just how I feel right now. I am happy with LIFE in general right now. The last couple of years have been more or less this way - what a change to the crippling depression I dealt with in high school... I feel so much better!