When I have to drop people off and then go back and pick them up in town like I have the last couple of days, I tend to drive different routes to try and keep it interesting, so I basically don't go crazy. Against my better judgement, because it's stalker-y, I drove home by the property where my gypsy lives. His truck wasn't home. No big whoop, we're both on days off - my van wouldn't have been home if he had driven by my house.
But then I was thinking about how my friends have urged me to ask him out, and I have ALMOST bolstered the confidence to do it... but then I thought "What if he is seeing someone and that is why his truck's not home?" Holy panic. I have tried imagining the scenario where I casually ask him out for coffee or dinner or something over in my head and it works pretty well. But throw the wrench of another woman into the scene and it is pretty much my worst nightmare.
I go MILES out of my way to avoid rejection of any kind, if I can help it. Except with writing, I head toward it full steam, funny how that is! Anyways... the thought of being turned down and embarrassed like that just makes my heart constrict.
GAH. I am a failure at life.
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1 comment:
YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! :P
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