I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday to discuss several issues that have been building up over several years bothering me. I am pretty much scared witless of it... I know she's going to say lose weight, but it's all of the other things she might say... "... trouble concieving..." "... hormonal imbalance..." "... skin cancer..." "... brain tumour..." "... surgery..." "... diabetes..." "... PCOS..." - I'm really not a hypochondriac and I haven't looked up any of these things, but she is either going to pin me with one of the above... or she's going to completely ignore all of these things that have been bothering me and robbing me of my self confidence and any feelings of self worth.
I don't know which I am more afraid of.
I had a sex scene from my novel read aloud today and realized how stereotypical it sounds. I can't let myself rewrite much more of it. I just keep putting in work and putting in work. It's not like it ever would have been a NYT best seller anyways... just a nice little startup book, it only needs to make me about 5k in royalties and then I could go to school and get started on real life. Not exactly a get rich quick scheme but the only way I can concieve of getting the money I need to go to school.
That is pretty much all. Not very interesting.
Oh yeah, except... I found my first wrinkle - it is vertical between my eyes where I always furrow my brow... "perma furrow" is right, Denis!
And I also dreamt last night that I had 13 babies and I was going to give them all away or sell them so I didn't name them.
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