And that about sums it up.

Well, I framed off my first weekend off of the season with a visit to the strangest doctor I've ever met's office. He, like my GP, was inconclusive, but he seemed determined to get to the bottom of my facial hair problems. He said even if it is not something internally, it obviously is a problem for me so it is not something that we should ignore. It really does affect my self image more than I realize or think. So he's checking to make sure that my doctor did all the correct blood panels and then we will proceed from there. He did say there is a birth control out there now that helps control facial hair so it might end up being just that. He said he doubts anything is wrong with me internally. I guess we will see, but I know it will take all summer at the very least to work this out.

I did have a great weekend, overall, though. I got to spend Saturday night at the monthly card party - except it was sad because it was the last one for the summer and when we start again in the fall, Lisa will have moved to Toronto to go to school.

This weekend made me really realize how much I miss showing horses... very badly. I need to acquire a trailer and then go from there because that is the biggest, most expensive part of showing, is having a rig to get there!

I am not eager to go back to work now... I don't know why. All the other days I have had off, I was anxious and antsy to get back to work but not this time. Probably because I actually had something to do on my day off besides sit around and do nothing!

The longest weekend in the world!

So this weekend is my first weekend off of the season (Friday-Monday) and it will be framed by doctor's visits by the end of things.

Friday, I started off the day by going to my GP for my first ever physical. I have been trying to get in for this physical for 2 months but with all our trade fairs and then other stuff coming up (I was on my period once), I have had to reschedule it like three times. Friday was finally THE day. I was pretty anxious driving in, but I managed to survive the drive without crashing into anything. When the doctor left the room and told me to take off everything, I was plagued with indecision - take off my top or my pants first? Which would leave me less vulnerable? And why not just run out of the office instead? Or maybe just vomit and be excused?

I am uncomfortable with my own naked body, the thought, at that point, of someone else seeing it and touching it just made me about crazy. Add to that, I am the first of one of my groups of friends to have a physical so I had no idea what to expect.

My doctor "warmed me up" with stories about a very professional type lawyer coming into her ER with a 12" vibrator stuck so far up his anus that it had to be surgically removed because it couldn't be removed with fingers, and then a 14 year old that got a hair dryer stuck in her vajayjay. The exam started okay... then the breast exam just made me stare at the cieling. I don't know what I was expecting with the internal and I felt uncomfortable with the speculum but it was over so quickly that I was surprised and said "That's it?!" and she said "What did you expect?".

Back in April, she referred me to Dr Hanson, a top dermatologist in this area, saying he would call me, but I never recieved a call, so while I was in the office, my doctor called his office and all of a sudden, I have an appointment for tomorrow morning... so that will frame up my busy weekend.

I came home Friday night to bath two horses in a thunder storm and stay up until 1am getting them ready to haul them in the morning - for our 4H Achievement Day. Ari had never been bathed in a bazillion years, and she had also, at that point, never been trailered or taken off the property. She was SOOOO good overall, I was extremely impressed. She is very quickly becoming the child safe horse I have hoped she would be, since she is too short for me to show. The kids did really well with their horses and I was very proud of their accomplishments... and I really miss showing horses myself. I have to buy a trailer before I can do anything, though.

I spent today at a horse show with mom's booth and helping Jill out with her photography stuff which only intensified my missing showing badly. :P If I had not been so tired with an underlying serious stomach cramp problem all weekend, I would definitely have come home and ridden and bathed more horses tonight, but alas, I napped instead.

Agh!

It's P day. Physical. *scared face*

I try in vain not to be a girl...

But I am not very good at it!

The last week or so has been an up and down roller coaster of happiness, jealousy and anger. Most of the anger has been kitchen-staff related since one guy in the kitchen seems to have taken some power to head. I blew up at him yesterday and then confessed to him today that I called him a kitchen nazi on Facebook and Twitter and he couldn't figure out why I would be mad at him!

I have been seeing my gypsy as often as possibly but unfortunately, as we get busier, I am less able to make time to see him. I believe this means it is time to try and see him outside of work. Fireworks on Canada Day, anyone? It might be worth a try. I have always wanted to watch fireworks with a boy... a straight boy.

About that wagon ride...

So on the topic of wagon rides, I have been anxiously watching out the window for the last two weeks at work to see my gypsy's wagon pass by. I have desperately wanted to go for a wagon ride, period, regardless of who the teamster is, so yesterday we closed the restaurant at 4pm, and I worked from 3 to 4 to get all the closing up stuff done (since we had no one in the restaurant) and Laura and I went to go on a wagon ride at 4.

We walked up to the big barn to see some of the carriage collection, which was exciting and made me drool... some of those antiques are gorgeous, and I would love to use them but I know Bronwyn would tear something like that to shreds. We had hoped we would catch my teamster's wagon but any wagon would do. Eventually, we walked up to the visitor reception centre and caught him giving a little ride around the turn circle to a couple of little boys sitting up on the front seat with him.

We went up and bummed a ride and he offered for us both to sit up on the front seat with him also... which resulted in me flashing him a healthy shot of my cleavage as I clambored up, and then Laura followed but it was quite a tight squeeze, so I announced that I would be snuggling up indecently which he didn't disagree with. Then the little boys asked us about the chestnuts on the horse's legs and we bullshitted an answer together which was kind of cute.

Following that, I put my bag on the floorboard and it fell off into the back of the wagon, upside down - this is my luck kind of thing. Laura graciously offered to get down and get it and then stayed down so I had my gypsy all to myself... except for her standing there, you know. Anyways... he lugged us back across the bridge and past our stop so we had to sit at the Grant store for an extra 10 minutes with him, which was nice, having a chat... then he brought us back.

And then, a girl I am not sure I like anymore even though I watched her grow up, took my spot next to my gypsy. GRRR. I am a jealous person, I have discovered.

:)

I <3 wagon rides. SQUEEEEEE.

Soo sleepy...

And distracted.

This is stupid.

At first, I was excited to have a crush on someone because it meant that I had something to look forward to day to day. Now I am just neurotic, obsessive old me. Argh.

I'd do that for a dollar!

I sooo didn't feel like going to work this morning, but went anyways and ended up making $60 in tips, which is a really good haul for June, on a weekday. Seemed like an awful lot of foreign tourists already, maybe vacationing season comes early overseas?

Tomorrow, I am hostessing, which is alright because that typically means I don't do a whole lot (I get paid less but whatever) and usually have a chance to go and chat with my gypsy.

I didn't get that chance today because we were way too busy but I did catch a glimpse and give a big wave and smile as I was driving down to the restaurant - he was walking around carrying a giant scythe. It was thrilling.

I really have nothing else to say - except nyah nyah - I sat on the deck tonight on a couch with my laptop in hand and listened to frogs sing while I edited some work for Kayla. :) Rock.

Also, I finished the last edit of my novel. I am officially not going to touch it ANYMORE. Because I just do more damage. I am going to send it around and let some other people read it but I can't do it anymore. You can't tinker with perfection (haha, just kidding!).

Mindful

Yesterday was a complete bust at work... I have been hostessing a lot and worked at the Ice Cream Parlour on Friday, so not a lot of tips. I figured on a sunny Saturday, we would do alright but only brought home $13. Argh. And then I have to go back and hostess Tuesday as well.

I must secretly confess that I don't mind hostessing on slow days, it gives me an opportunity to run down and chat with my teamster gypsy when he doesn't have anyone on his wagon. Sometimes I think I think too much because then I turn around and wonder if the only reason I am interested is because it's nice to have someone to be interested in. :P I'm a loser!

Tiffany was wonderful and drove me to work and picked me up yesterday since mom and dad were gone to Halifax with the van. I <3 Tiff! We went back to her place after and watched Taken and ate Kraft Dinner while Abbey ate chinese, which I totally should have ordered. LOL I STILL want Chinese today! Maybe we'll get some for supper... hmmm.

And today, I am taking Shay to the Bark In The Park with our dogs. It should be interesting. I want to get a painting made by Morrie. :)

*sigh*

Two days that were great, chill flow days at work turned bad when I get home. Nice.

I sleep too much!

I have been sleeping almost nonstop the last couple of days - they were my days off and I woke up yesterday with such horrific cramps in my calves and swollen feet that I wasn't sure I could walk - my hip sockets also hurt me badly. I guess I just can't win with body pain! First, falling off Bronwyn and hurting so bad, then going back to work and hurting doubly bad. I couldn't even ride on my days off because I was so sore and tired.

I did wake up briefly to have dinner at Yoo China with Adam last night, which was interesting. When we first walked in, it appeared to be a takeout place with the food all on display, like it belonged in the food court at the mall. The girl behind the counter asked if we were dining in and sent us up a LONG flight of stairs into a sketchy room that sounded kind of like we were in an airport. It had a really chic vibe to it so I immediately worried that I was underdressed and it was out of my price range, and especially the latter when I opened the menu and everything was $20 per order or more!

Then I flipped the page and my heart went back into my chest and I ordered chicken with cashew, which was missing cashews until about halfway through when the waiter brought me a dish of cashews, apologizing for having forgotten them in the first place. We had some yummy, spicy rice pudding for dessert, and I am by far and away NOT a rice pudding type of gal, but it wasn't half bad. Pretty good actually.

And today, I didn't do much except snack on the groceries mom bought yesterday. I love having healthy food in the house, but I had to rid the cupboards of cookies before I could settle into my healthy eating routine again!

And there's pretty much nothing else to report.

Shook me all night long!

Haha, not really though.

I am sore. From my knees down, I can hardly walk and it's sucky.

My feet have been so swollen the last two mornings, I have had to soak them in icy cold water to get the swelling down lest my skin split open. And now I have massive pain in my calves, which isn't fun at all. I literally have pain-to-tears going down the stairs.

I don't know what I will do. What a sucky way to spend my two days off - all crippled up.

It's the climb...

I have been run pretty much off my feet all the month of May but I am finally reining things in and getting them under control, hurray!

My week started off with a bang, literally. I spent the last two weekends bragging to Suzanne and Bob from the Wind Rider Challenge about how great and awesome Bronwyn is and how she never leaves me behind, and then got a rude awakening on Monday evening. I rode her in the roundpen and she worked top class... then I pulled her out of the round pen to work on some long lateral movement... and all of a sudden, there was a cat. And not just a cat, but a cat climbing a tree. And then I was on the ground.

It happened so fast, I hardly had time to figure out what was going on, I was just laying on the ground, then sitting up, watching Bronwyn run away from me to the barn, going "WHAT just happened here?!". From what I figure, she stopped hard and popped up in front, effectively throwing me off balance because I didn't have weight in both stirrups because I was pushing her with my leg badcore. Then she spun right (I think?), and I slid off, bounced my head off the ground (thank god for new helmet!) and somehow landed on both my left boob and left butt cheek at the same time (no idea where my arm was!). When I finally got my senses about me, got up and followed her, I found her in the barn, standing obediently in her stall. I imagine the act of me falling was almost as traumatic for her as the cat climbing the tree.

Tuesday, I worked, but did very little as I was extremely sore through my head and neck. Wednesday, I was killer sore in my shoulders and back. I couldn't have gotten on her Tuesday if I had wanted to and by Wednesday, my butt was hurting - I could have got on but no way could I have ridden any of her gaits, so I worked on the ground with her some. I really like desensitizing my horses to enough stuff that they get to the point that when they see new, scary things, they don't even care anymore.

So I got out the plastic-bag-on-a-stick, and the hula-hoop-of-death, and put them to work. I swung the bag around her head, rubbed her legs, over her back, chucked it in the air, smacked her with it, and she stood fine and perfect. Then came the hula hoop which I threw in the air to let it bounce off her butt, put around her neck, made her step into and then walk with around her legs, falling on her knees, rolled it underneath her, hit her with it, flipped it back and forth on her back, etc. All of this stuff didn't bother her... but the next time I see a cat climbing a tree, I bet it will.

The reason I am so sour about the whole thing is that I was carrying on an 11 year not-falling-off streak - so I guess I was due for a fall. The longer you go between falls, the more evil they become in your mind, so really, I needed it so I could think "Hey, that's not so bad, I can live with this, and I don't have to ride in absolute horror of it happening.". I also decided that Bronwyn is a decent height to fall from.

I went in for my physical last night but since I was on my period, I couldn't do the pelvic, so we put off the whole thing. My doctor chatted with me a little bit, which was nice because we're both horse people, and she poked and prodded and palpated my spine and neck when she found out I had fallen, even though I told her I didn't hurt anymore.

I FINALLY picked up the cream and shampoo she prescribed me over a month ago (had the pharmacist check, it was back in APRIL when she prescribed it!), and I took a picture of my face pre-rosacea treatment, so we will see how it works.

She also said that the results of my bloodtests were mostly alright - except a bit of slightly elevated cholesterol which she wasn't super worried about. With that said, she is referring me to a dermatologist to see about my acne and facial hair growth to see if he can find a cause (mostly for the hair), and if he can't, she is referring me to an endocrinologist. I go back for my physical on the 26th of this month.

The last two days have been spent in First Aid courses for Mal and I, during which I discovered that I am attracted to (or at least distracted by naughty thoughts about) the worst person possible. He is a gypsy, practically, that squats on other people's land, and drives a refurbished firetruck and is old, probably older than 35, but it's hard to tell because his face looks young generally. BUT he is great with horses and came to the course with his boots smelling like horseshit (for once, I smelled and wasn't like "is that me?!") and works his horses on his lunchbreak - he's a teamster.

Everyone will make fun of me but dude.

!!

I'm alive!

Just barely.

And will write for reals later.