I try to be happy because I have a puppy...

My life feels really strange in general right now.

For the first time, ever, my best friend of 20 years and I may not be best friends anymore? She's been dangerously involved with a man she knows very little about for the last few months and it took a turn for very serious about a week ago, and she knows I disapprove. Finally, when she insisted she knew what she was doing was stupid, I let 'er rip and gave her a piece of my mind about the whole thing - without being too nasty - but I sure did tell her that I think she's going down a slippery slope and that "breaking up" with him for only TWO DAYS because there was a gross show of disrespect on his part and then getting back together with him only showed him one thing and that was that when she says "no", she doesn't mean it. I just hope she doesn't get hurt too badly. Her sister is keeping tabs on her for me because I haven't heard from her in two days since I sent her the email.

I've also completely given up on Roux. I wanted him to go with me to Bangor Wednesday night and asked him about a week in advance about it. He sounded amiable to the idea. Wednesday morning rolls around and he can't go with me (this was about the time that shit hit the fan with the aforementioned best friend, or maybe it was Tuesday night?)... because he needs to fix the heater in his truck but he said it "would have been fun" - when I expressed that I really had wanted him to come so I didn't get lost, he asked when I was leaving and I said it was okay, I would googlemap it. Though I told him I was worried about getting lost, I still haven't heard from him, so he doesn't even know if I made it back alive or not.

I am just tired of hanging around on a line for him. I was sure, back in August that we were building up to something but it has taken so long to come that I am just tired of it all. Like, I literally want to sleep instead of think about it. If he wanted to be with me, he would be with me by now. He would make time. He would put off fixing his truck for a day or two. So now if he decides he wants to be with me later, it might be too late. Now I just need to find someone to move on to.

In the meantime, mom's new puppy loves me, which is kind of awesome because I didn't want her to get the puppy in the first place but I am secretly glad to have her even though it is hard to type with a puppy on your lap!