You're delusional, you're delusional, boy you're wasting your time...

Ahhh... geeze.

Roux stopped by the restaurant Friday night. I was busy with customers and he was leaving the site for the evening and brought his truck down from the staff parking lot and parked near us and was out on the porch when I went out to sit with the girls having a smoke. They all insist he'd come to see me, and I honestly can't see why he was there if not, since he's not really FRIENDS with any of them, but I could have misinterpreted the whole thing. I could be misinterpreting everything that has happened since May. I might be delusional!

Anyways, he was quite concerned that I was not feeling well (I didn't give the old whiny "I'm siiiick..." he heard me talking and said "Oh, are you sick?"), but we were pretty limited on time and it wasn't exactly a perfect moment to be putting our heads together and having a good chat, which is sad... because I miss our good chats and on Monday, it will be TWO FRIGGING WEEKS since we've had one.

There is a lot of outside pressure to just give up on him because of his little flakeout on Monday, but I would hate to throw the baby away with the bathwater without at least talking to him and finding out where his brain is at. Honestly, girls seem to go on and on about how this is the 21st century and "don't settle for a guy that doesn't like you as much as you like him", and blah blah blah... but at the same time, I am an adult. I am not playing "the game" that everyone seems to be playing. I have a genuine interest in him and I am fairly sure that he has a genuine interest in me and I think there are things he needs to overcome and if those prove to be too much than I am willing to step back and back off if that is what he needs... much like this may be his "fatal character flaw", I have my own - the only difference being that mine will rear its ugly head a little later on, when things seem pretty secure.

I feel like both of us have invested a lot in the friendship already to just tell him to piss off for saying a couple of things he might not have known the implications of. Maybe he is genuinely busy for the next two weeks - he does have five horses and himself to house for winter and it is fast approaching.

I am making a chicken and beef stew right now. Not literally, but it's funny - I came to this conclusion when talking to Mac, our barkeep at work. When I am not happy, I am stewing. I am either making a beef stew - in which I am angry at someone else... or I am making a chicken stew in which I am angry at myself for not doing something I wanted myself to do. Right now, it's a good mixture. I am a little angry at Roux for not being clear and forward with me but I am also angry at myself for not being clear and forward with HIM. My Beefcken stew should be delicious.