Writing Prompt #1

Write a "silent scene" in your fiction. Create a powerful scene between two characters without using any dialogue.

Thanks to Writing.com.

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The silence between the two of them was palatable. James averted his eyes. It seemed too personal, almost too intimate - which was laughable, considering what they had shared so recently - for him to watch her cry like this. Her shoulders shook silently, her head down, her hands clasped in her lap as though she was offering some sort of silent prayer for relief.

James turned his head. It was not enough to avert his eyes. Uncomfortably, he wanted to leave. No, he wanted to rise, move to her side, comfort her, but he knew she would never allow it. It surprised him that she allowed herself this moment of vulnerability in front of him. She was determined to be in control at all times and this display was most definitely a lack of control.

When she looked up, her eyes were red, still pregnant with tears waiting to be shed. He wanted to brush the tracks off her cheeks. Something about her gaze kept the physical distance between them. Something had changed, in the brief moments since she'd put her head down to let out bits of her soul, and James couldn't put a finger on it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and watched her for a moment.

As though she'd had a complete change of heart, her shoulders straightened. Her chin drew up defiantly as he had seen it do hundreds of times before. Her eyes cleared quickly. A small sniffle was her only giveaway. With hardly a glance at James, she rose to her feet - elegance, beauty, poise and control, and swept from the room, leaving him alone as he had ever been.

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Okay - not good, but I'm getting into the swing. Next time will be better, I promise!

I spent about an hour back on No One Else last night, editing. I cut out around 400 words. To get rid of my targeted 30,000 words, I am going to have to do 75 hours worth! I actually think if I can get it into the 75,000-85,000 range, I should be safe, though. I'm so proud of myself for finally being able to go back to the book... this copy is so outdated that the character name changes I made weren't recorded! So it was still Contellio instead of Costa and Santino instead of Moretti. I looked after that right away... I am trying not to let myself remember how much work I had ahead on it before my jump drive died. If I do, it just gets unbearable.

Michelle tells me there is a Harlequin "factory" in TO and I want to visit it when I go. She said she wasn't working much so hopefully she will hang with us a little bit. :)

Scream

Today was a generally quiet day... we went to a family potluck and saw some cousins we haven't seen in quite a long time... it was nice - though those things generally are only worth about an hour of conversation because you run out of "appropriate" things to talk to family about. Do I really want to discuss the sec scenes in my novel? Probably not.

That's something I have been thinking about lately... my first book... I am really feeling an inclination to go back and work up the editing that I have so desperately been putting off. I am hoping to do so in Toronto in the new Year when I am visiting S and M and W...

Also, mom bought me a cell phone for Christmas, which is nice because I have been meaning to get one all summer but never had the money up ahead. It's an LG Rumour, so... texty texty!

And so it is... just like you said it would be...

I am terribly depressed right now. I've just come in from the barn where I sat for probably twenty minutes crying my eyes out. I don't know what's wrong with me.

It's unnerving. I am considering asking mom and dad to return all of my Christmas presents and buy me time with a psychologist instead.

I'm also considering forgoing purchasing ANY presents for ANYONE because I don't feel like any of my family except my dad deserves anything, and spending it instead on getting horses' feet trimmed, like I have been trying to do for months. Instead, my money gets taken from me for other things and the important stuff doesn't get done.

I feel so helpless and angry and sad all at one time, and I hate it.

I've never been this depressed at Christmas time before in my entire life.

Trying to take ahold of my life again...

I have been discovering and deciding a lot of things about myself in the past week.

One thing is that I have NOTHING financially. I have to fight against my mother tooth and nail to have anything, but I have determined that I WILL start looking after myself. One thing that I have done is open a Money Master account and joined the "Bank The Rest" program with my online banking. The Money Master requires a $5 fee for you to withdraw money (which should be a good enough deterrant), I can deposit money from my regular chequing account into it for free, though. The Bank The Rest program rounds every debit card purchase I make up to the nearest dollar and deposits the "rest" into my MM account. This isn't going to get me terribly far anytime soon, but it should start to accumulate SOMETHING. I am just sick of not having ANYTHING. I've also been putting away about $20 everyday from my tips. That money is going with me to Toronto after Christmas, as spending money. Mom won't be happy that I'm squirreling things away, but it is time that I have something for MYSELF. I want to go back to school, have a career, someday buy a house, and I am 23, so if I don't get started on that stuff now, I never will.

Another thing I discovered is that I don't trust people easily. I have increasingly been having problems with ... well, unrelenting horniness, but I can't imagine myself ever being comfortable enough with someone to be intimate. Something I definitely need to work on.

I had already discovered that I overthink and analyze things to the point of self sabotaging.

Another couple of things I have realized are that none of the women in this house are mentally stable (myself included) and that I want to make a career out of horses. I am not happy with my station in life currently.

I'll take to improving those things promptly!

Hello from Callie!

Hi everybody,

My mom told me she did something bad and she wanted me to tell you all about it. She brought me home! She keeps saying it was bad but I can tell she doesn't mean it. Everyone is really happy to have me here, even if I am only visiting.

You can see what she means about it being bad here: http://careforcallie.blogspot.com/

She also told me to tell you she will still write here, but she has to have some time to help me with my blog also!

Love,
Callie

Amanda The Great Pony Rescuer!

So now that we're not getting public in anymore (site's last day was Monday, after a ridiculously busy and crazy and exhausting three days of turkey dinners), we go to work early (8:30!), and it's crazy. All summer, I have been sleeping in until 8:45 so it's hard for me to get my body into the swing of things, really.

Anyways, this morning, I dodged a really cute German Shepherd that was getting into some skunky roadkill only to nearly run into what I thought from a distance was a baby moose. Turns out it was a pony, just standing there into the middle of the road.

I pulled over my van, flicked on the four ways and, to the amazement of the car behind me, walked right up to the pony, put my hands on his halter and led him into the nearest driveway. He was standing between two across-the-road-neighbors - I have seen him in the pastures on either side of the road but most recently on the left hand side, so I got him up in there, and then let go of him to knock on the door. The woman was angry (it's not her pony, just her neighbor taking advantage of her) because she can't keep the pony in her poorly strung fence (under which he can easily crawl - he's a pony for god's sake!), and she can't keep him tied (we have a pony we can't keep tied but solve that problem with a neck rope). She told me the guy wants to sell him - for $600. She confided that he had paid only $300 for the pony but he had "bought a saddle and bought some hay and stuff" so he wanted to make the money up! HA! I nearly laughed myself sick once I got in the van.

When she came out, he took off - she said "he hates me" - the woman came to look at our horses for sale a few years ago and was amazed that we could walk right into standing stalls with our horses and be safe - they had a stallion at their place that I am pretty sure starved to death and died... so I took more time and ended up being half an hour late, and caught him for her again and helped her put him back in the fence. When I came by there tonight on the way home, he was still in the fence so hopefully he hasn't run any stupid Houdini tricks. He's a really cute pony but $600 is a little bit ridiculous in my opinion.

Dramarama!

So the last week or so has been all kinds of busy and crazy.

Between Thursday of last week and Monday, I worked three double shifts, which was insane. I don't think I saw dad for more than 40 minutes total between those days, either. Lots of romantic drama going on at work that I am (thankfully) not really involved in but (unfortunately) guilty by association for. I've also made the mistake of learning how to run the cash register and do up the night cash sheets so now I get to be used for hostessing which gives me 0 tips. Also, Saturday, I had my first customer complaint filed against me (thanks to another waitress who made me look like I was giving poor service when I was giving correct service!), and had a huge crying jag prior to that on Saturday which I couldn't explain then and can't really explain now. Random bursts of crying from about 10:30 until 1:30, then I was fine and worked another shift without so much as a sniffle. Just needed to get it out, I think, and possibly PMSing.

I got my 4H group all lined up - I have three kids between the ages of 6-8, which is far off from where I was planning my group, but I guess it'll all work out in the long run. They're a small group and that's just fine by me, hopefully next year the fun will spread. Mom volunteered at the last minute to lead the canine project and ended up with 12 kids! I think I scared most of the children off by telling them we would not be riding.

I have the rest of today off and then will be going crazy for the next four days, between prepping for Thanksgiving dinners and actually serving Thanksgiving dinners. Sarah is coming home for the weekend so I have to plan some time to visit her for sure. More and more, I want to go to Toronto with her, even if it's just to spend a little bit of time relaxing.

I rode Bronwyn yesterday for the first time in like three weeks. She wasn't very good but she hasn't forgotten EVERYTHING. I wanted to ride her again today but mum has gone MIA and I had to turn the horses out so no choice there. Dang mom.

Time and confusion

I have to say I am sick to death of rain, runny noses, horses that can't seem to respect electric fence, a Bronwyn that won't come inside, working tours at work, and eating fried food when I go out.

I did have some cute little old ladies on a night tour Thursday night that were so friendly. It was a group of 100+ people and they were all in a fabulous mood, in the middle of their 30 day bus tour vacation. One group of ladies sat around while I cleared the room and promised to find me a cowboy husband (they came from SK originally). It was all good fun. :)

I am only a week and a bit away from being done work for a couple of weeks before this Christmas dinner stuff starts up and things get crazy.

Bah humbug!

I am getting sick so I am not much good for... well, anything, but I thought I would give a brief update for those who have no idea what's going on:

1) My novel died. Well, my jump drive that housed my novel did, and so therefore, I have no recent edits because stupidly, I only saved them to my jump drive and not my computer. Coincidentally, I woke up the morning after the day I found out nothing could be done and started writing the book. A completely new story, I am 12k words in(I hope that it will come in around 60-70k actually), have the plotline all hashed out, etc. This is THE BOOK. (And shall hence be referred to as THE BOOK in all articles!)

2) We got some llamas. I'm already sick of them.

3) Bronwyn is really fat (and lazy since I hardly have a chance to ride her).

4) I work too hard.

5) I volunteered to lead the 4H light horse project in our area.

6) Deacon is cuter than ever.

7) I am in love with Jungle Jims.

8) I am still single.

9) I really miss Sarah, who is living it up hardcore style in Toronto.

10) I think I've lost some more weight... or at least the girls at work keep telling me so. I don't believe them, really!

Auntie Amanda

So now I am a "real" auntie, and my brother and his wife have had their little boy. They said that they had chosen NOT to know the gender and the nurse told them it was awfully refreshing to find someone who didn't know. I spent the whole ride home trying to think of "unisex" colours in case I decide not to know the gender of my first baby (after the first one, it will just be boring so I will find out)...

And so baby fever is worse than ever before.

Cause I'm your baby...

I have discovered that visiting Tiffany, Jamie and Deacon and the happy little family they have has almost the same affect on me as riding Bronwyn.

Interesting observation!

I'm SO grumpy...

I have this problem where I get so mad and upset all I can do is cry and I have trouble breathing. Very serious issue.

After a stupid long day in which a couple showed up at 4:30 and DEMANDED food - even though our kitchen was closed - and I had to stay while they dawdled over their food for OVER AN HOUR, and I found out someone I know is getting an abortion, which is pretty much the most painful thing someone can do when I want to have a baby so bad right now (even though I'm not even *there* in life), and being a week, to the day, from the two year anniversary of Angel's death, and also possibly PMSing, I came home and all I wanted to do was ride Bronwyn and relax.

(That was a long sentence.)

I was also supposed to go to Tiffany's and have supper with them but I was so tired and stressed out and such... and also trying to plan a going away party for Salls, who will be going to Toronto for two years... which is the longest we've been apart in 16 years of friendship... it's a good thing that I didn't go to Tiffany's because I would have just cried all over her baby.

Anyways, I wanted to go ride B... but when I pulled her out of her stall, dad got all snarky about the paint mare I have in for training. (A la "fine, send her back. She won't get trained here anyway.") I got pissy and put Bronwyn back and got out the paint mare while he's screaming "NO! RIDE YOUR HORSE! DON'T YOU DARE WORK THIS HORSE!". I was just WAY too tired to deal with that mare's physical bullying and fight with her. I wasn't even going to *work* Bronwyn, I was just going to sit on her like a sack of potatoes and let the rocking motion of her walk ease all the stresses out of me. So I got out the paint mare and worked her and by the time I was done with her, there was not enough light left for me to ride Bronwyn and I came in the house disappointed and cried my guts out because I'm pretty stressed right now. The end.

Grow up, already!

Today, I think I got a sign from God.

This morning, I was chatting with Ja about going back to school... and he kept saying "don't 'maybe', just do it!" and stuff like that. I was supposed to be on a tour this morning but they decided to let me do a couple of public tables to keep up with business...

One of my first tables this morning was my favorite professor from my brief stint at STU. After three years, he still remembered me! He told me to call him if I needed anything because I had talked about going back. He was my intro to Lit prof and he was hilarious and supportive and nurturing.. I just wish his class hadn't been an evening one that I always had to go directly to work til 4:30am from.

So my brain started churning about what I can do... scholarships I might be eligible for... ways I can make this work... because I'm tired of what I'm doing, going around in circles. I am ready for my grown up life to get started and since it doesn't appear that I'm going to make any steps forward in the family scheme of that - marrying or having babies yet... I might as well make a move careerwise. And no one else is going to make that move for me... so I'd better get onto it.

I was trying to think of ways to do it and work as little possible. I know that if I could go to school and not have to bust my butt to keep an apartment or anything, I could have the kind of GPA that maintains scholarships... full ones, even! I have to make this happen.

Angel, what are you hiding from me?

I've been really really maternal feeling lately. Maybe it's because I've just finished reading Breaking Dawn, the last book in the Twilight series and it's completely focused around a baby (sorry about the spoiler!). Maybe it's because A at work is pregnant, Tiffany has a gorgeous baby that I am compelled to try and spend as much time as possible with, or because of the really cute little blonde baby I had in my restaurant yesterday. Maybe it's because I ran into a guy from highschool that I used to adore...

Though that running-into was rather disappointing. He spotted me and I had the overwhelming urge to run away. Luckily, he only waved and didn't come to talk to me...

I feel stupid because I used to be such a social person and this particular guy, I enjoyed spending time with so much. He was pretty much my favorite person in the world... we just made each other happy... and now I can't even muster up the courage to TALK to him? What is wrong with me? I used to turn around and chat up random people in line at concerts but lately I feel really antisocial... like I've had some kind of social regression.

Work is going alright. I had a big run in with K when I ran right into him telling the boss "This isn't working. Amanda refuses to bus her tables." - which - I was busy, running my arse off... so it wasn't that I refused, just that I hadn't gotten to them yet. I have noticed that he is mysteriously absent whenever we need help doing little things like putting tables together or wrestling with a 20L bag of milk to put in the dispenser... he can dink around pretty much a whole day but if you're not as fast as him doing ONE thing, he's very critical. Anyways, I am sure he didn't count on me walking in on him complaining about me and he steered pretty clear away from me the next day and hasn't been scheduled to work since. I was SO ANGRY that a fifty year old man would go to the boss immediately when he had a problem instead of speaking to me about something and giving me a chance to fix it. INFURITATED me... if he had spoken to me again that same day, I probably would have gone all Greg Despres on him and lopped his head off.

Other than that, work has been alright. I am getting tired of working though! Why can't we all just be independently wealthy?

My dad will be thrilled that this week, I have some semblance of a plan for being social - a staff party Tuesday, a dinner party with the Fab Five this week sometime, and then hopefully a trip out to see Tiffany, Jamie and Deacon.

Grumpypants

I hate when one person in our kitchen is grumpy, because it makes everything awkward. The days when everyone is grumpy don't bother me as much because then we can all just be grumpy on our own terms and that is enough.

This morning, Jon climbed into S's dress while we weren't looking. I asked him to hold on until I could run and grab my camera out of my van and when I came back, Blake had climbed into my dress (which was big enough to fit a couple of him in it! It hangs off of ME nevermind skinny thinny Blake!), and they had stuffed the fronts of their shirts with something to make it look like boobs. Probably the best pictures ever... but I haven't had the time/energy to get them off my camera.

Also super excited to go whalewatching this weekend with the "Fab Five". :) Eee!

Noticing you noticing me...

Today, I wasn't thrilled by some conversation going on at work. I can listen to as much sailor talk as the next person (and I do, at this job), but when people start to get ignorant and intolerant, it bothers me.

There was some discussion going on about a homosexual couple that were using a surrogate mother to acquire a child for them to raise. I think that's fine - homosexual couples are as entitled to being parents as most heterosexual couples (and I secretly think a lot of them would make better parents than most heterosexual couples!). Someone commented that "the child wouldn't have a chance at a normal life" and if it was a boy "he would have no choice but to grow up gay"... GAH! I wanted to tear my hair out. I said something that shocked everyone there -- "I don't care if a child's parents are a man and woman, two women, two men, a cat and a dog - as long as that child is being loved and cared for, it doesn't matter to me at all!". Then I commented that I don't believe that gay is always a choice.

One of the women involved in the conversation is quite religious - but she is the sweetest woman. Her son is very effeminate, and knowing him and with the "gaydar" I have developed over the years, I would not be surprised if he came out. I don't speculate this kind of thing in regular conversation because what difference does it make? I also make it a rule to believe that someone is heterosexual as long as they maintain that front until they tell me or prove otherwise.

I think her opinion will change if her son comes out. I, too, had those same sorts of feelings when I was heavily involved in the church (though not intolerant, I was not for gay marriage, believed it was a choice, etc)... when I got out into what I like to call "the real world", lived, worked and played with some homosexuals, my tune really changed. They stop being a label or a "sexuality" and they become a real living, breathing, compassionate, loving person who will do anything for you. Then you have no choice but to change your tune - because seeing some of the heartache and struggles that I did, I know none of my sensitive, softhearted friends would honestly CHOOSE this path for themselves if they knew they could avoid all the hardships they were experiencing by choosing another path. Sure, some folks may choose to be homosexual, but I do believe in some people, it's hardwired in in advance, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I think people don't like to agree with that theory because "what if my son grows up to be gay - that means I genetically caused that problem because they were born that way!". People don't understand that gay is not wrong. It's not a disease. It's not any more of a sin than lying, cheating or stealing - according to the Bible, all sins are equal. I believe in and appreciate a higher power - a God, a creator... but I don't agree with many involved in the churches who believe that gays and lesbians are second class citizens.

Anyways, GAH!

Then I had two mares in heat that I was working last night that each had my number. I have an old pinto mare in here called "Paint" that is in for training - just the basic stuff. The catch is that she's 10 years old and often when they're that old, left that long, and with an "unknown" background, someone, somewhere has completely ruined them by trying to train them. I don't very often see horses with the saddle on the first time that don't buck a little bit, but she was going crazy, AND she was coming right for me everytime she started. She had my number. I'm not scared off yet, but I am definitely wary that someone took this little mare out and hurt her bad. She is sweet to handle on the ground, not a nasty bone in her body without a saddle on - lets you put your hands all over her, but when the saddle was cinched up, that was an entirely different story.

Then Bronwyn tried to buck me off. She was being, for lack of better words, a little shit, and I had to stop her a couple of times and cool myself off because I was getting pretty pissy. I have to go back and examine why she's bucking, but my guess is not saddle fit or chiro pain -- I do think she's being naughty and that is the whole of it.

Finally, a day off!

I have tomorrow off but have an appointment with Dr Handsome for some puppies and also need to trim some feet and clean some stalls. We have potential buyers coming to look at our stallion and broodmare for sale. At this point, I would really just like to see them move - particularly to this client, because they have some mares by a stallion they used to own that would cross well on this stud, and because they have more time and money to market them than we really do. I've known these people forever and think they would make a great home, and hey - the price is right, especially for two horses of this quality!

I haven't ridden Bronwyn in almost a week (or has it been 2 now?) since my saddle broke, but dad and I took the stirrup "leathers" (nylon, actually) off of my synthetic saddle and put them on my leather and I think it will do the trick til I can get the other leathers fixed. I put Paint (a mare in for training) out on the longe the other day but she seemed off to me. Called her owner and he said that she's "always like that".... if she were my horse, I would not feel comfortable riding her like that. Heck, she's not my horse and I don't feel comfortable! Anyways, he said he would be over to trim her feet (we brought her over early to treat a wound on her fetlock) and I will put her out on the longe then to see if he still thinks that it's "normal". Got Rex worked the other day and found his "itchy" spot... makes him curl all the way around like a macaroni! It's cute to see a dog doing it but even cuter to see a 15.2hh colt doing it! Now that I have made the decision to geld (nothing to do with his quality, everything to do with my ambition for handling a stallion!), I am eager to get it done with, but the humidity here has made the flies terrible, so no go til September, probably... which will work because I will have finished paying off my Mastercard then! :) Yay.

The other night I was in the pool after work and heard splashing that wasn't myself or Shay, so I hopped out to find the source of the sound and found this goof striking the water to purposely make herself wet. What a doof!

And nobody cares at all....

I have a Dashboard Confessional song stuck in my head but the title of my entry is the only line I can bring the words to mind from. So hate that!

Today has been possibly the longest day in the world and it's not over yet. I still have to work a few horses before I can get some rest, so I shouldn't really be sitting in front of the PC right now, but I am still waiting for the heat to burn off at 8:30. Speaking of heat, I am so over all this hot weather. I'm ready for snow again. It's usually not this bad for me in the summer, but then for the last five summers, I have spent my work days sitting inside of an air conditioned office instead of running my butt off in a huge long dress with no air conditioning. The salad line lady said the other day I must have lost 30lbs this summer. I don't know if I have, I am angry at my scales right now (that's what I get for buying them on eBay for $2!), but I'll accept the compliments anyways. :)

Yesterday, the family and I went to King's Landing (I work at a restaurant there) for the day. They were re-enacting the pauper auctions that occured in New Brunswick around 1888 (Pauper auctions were public events where the poverty stricken of the parish were auctioned off to the household who would take the least amount of money from the parish's poor tax to maintain care of them. It appeared that many of them got worked hard and George Francis Train vehemently opposed them, calling it the "white slave trade" - it is unknown when pauper auctions were no longer held in New Brunswick but they were still being held into the 20th century. How's that for a history lesson?), and the acting was very good. We ate at my restaurant and my parents were amazed at my savvy ordering that allowed us to eat for about $50 at a "fine dining" establishment and for us all to be full (there were 4 of us). We didn't get into many of the houses which was a disappointment, but I have a staff pass so we will likely go back when the weather is a little less humid. It's just killing me right now.

I obviously have nothing interesting to say here - I'm merely filling time and hoping the weather cools down!

Also wanted to shout out to all the ladies at the bachelorette party I attended Friday night. I'm sorry me and the pregnant lady left so early but I had to get home to bed... eventually. Which I did... at around 1:30. I loves you Tiff, and I am super excited for Baby Deacon to get here!!!! I just wanted him to come bursting out of you Friday night and be like "HELLO AUNTIE AMANDA!". You are never going to be able to get rid of me when you have a newborn. :-D

And a little funny that I want to write here for my own remembrance - I finished telling Tiffany the heartwrenching and sad story of losing Angel and finding Bronwyn and as I finished telling her how important and wonderful Bronwyn is in my life, she says "So you're going to be really sad when I steal her, right?". That girl can make me smile!

I kissed a girl...

Haha, no I didn't! But I bet some of my former roomies are going "Oh thank God. FINALLY!" Just have the tune stuck in my head. Catchy as hell!

I haven't had a lot of time to write lately, but I did hear back from that agent that had five pages of No One Else. She thanked me but told me it did not hook her immediately as she had hoped. I spent about 24 hours feeling sorry for myself, then had a chat with a few people about things I can do to make my manuscript more palatable and more easily digested when more agents ask for it. This includes cutting about 30,000 words out of it, which will be a challenge, but one I am up for.... if I ever get time to get back to that manuscript! So for now, I am putting a hold on the querying until I get that act back together and get a new query letter. THEN I will worry about getting published. I have joined a really great online writer's forum that actually has real professionals in the publishing industry on it that are very helpful.

As for everything else - nothing terribly new. I took Bronwyn out on the trail for the first time last weekend. She was a star, but we broke my saddle coming out of the barn (I am actually glad it didn't break on the trail though!), so she has had the last week off and I still have no leads on fixing the saddle. It's bumming me out majorly, but hopefully I will get onto things here directly.

We also celebrated our one year anniversary together and it has inspired some interesting writing coming out of me which is nice.

Speaking of interesting writing, I have this idea for a non fiction open letter to boys style book... and I even started sketching out some phrases and chapters in it but I HAVE to get back to work on No One Else - because if I don't, I fear I will be in big trouble with all these projects on the go and be a waitress forever. Further to that that I have about 10,000 words written on the second book in my Port Sentry Collection... Yep, I am in trouble.

A few points, plus I've met my future husband!

Remember that guy I was saying I keep saying awkwardly weird things to? He came in and had a seat in my room and I served him and finally didn't look like a complete idiot the entire time I was interacting with him. It was nice not to be a retard.

On that note, I have found my future husband at work. He is the perfect body type (about 6'2", big solid guy), plays a musical instrument and the best part is that he loves cookies - probably as much as I do. He was with one of the minstral trios outside of the Inn where I was working the pub today and I went out to stand on the porch and try and get a breeze because it was sweltering behind the bar and they were sitting out there. Being the dork I am, I commented on the heat and he said he was hoping for a thunderstorm to break it. I told him he'd be waiting all day. The other guy said it wasn't the only thing he'd have to wait all day for - he also wanted cookies. I told him that was the good thing about working at the Inn - there never seems to be a shortage of cookies or sweets. He told me that I should have definitely offered him free cookies at that interval, but I did not. This is the same minstral that saw us in the river on Monday and told us we were disgraceful, I am quite certain. AND he plays the fiddle, which I LOVE.

Annyways - onto working at the pub today... not bad!

I cleared about $47 in tips which was INCREDIBLE for the pub and was fueled by an American fellow that tipped me $20 after he had a shot of whiskey and a beer - a bill totalling less than $10. He and his lady friend stood down in the pub and we must have talked for a half an hour about horses, dogs, training both of them, etc... then they went upstairs for lunch.. I didn't notice that they didn't tip me - well, I don't care if people really tip me in the bar as long as I make enough money for gas. Anyways, after their meal, they came back down and I asked how it was and they said it was great but they had forgotten to tip me and I said "Oh that's no problem" and he passed me a folded up American bill over the counter. I took it in my hand and figured it was a couple of singles or a five and he walked away. When I got a chance to open it up, it was a $20 bill! Woohoo, go me!

I do like working in the pub. My last customers of the day were RV'ers from Colorado who were camping in Moncton and weren't planning on visiting PEI - they ended up penciling it into their plans and gave me a $2 tip for two beer (not bad actually) and then when we were finished chatting, the fellow shook my hand and told me it was really nice to meet me and a real pleasure to talk to me. Maybe I am cut out for bartending! LOL

Don't blink, everyone's watching..

So I have totally planned to write things about stuff that's been going on at work over the last week or whatever since I last wrote, but... I've realized it's not that important, and I can't remember what it was anyways!

Yesterday, we closed the restaurant early and went down to the river on site. S and A jumped in with their dresses on - I had already gotten changed and was just there to watch but ended up jumping in in my "wearing them home" clothes... which sucked, being soaking wet the whole way home, but it was worth the cool water and it definitely made the ride home more tolerable. It was pretty dead on site, but one visitor did walk by and started taking pictures of us. Then a fiddler walked by and stopped and creepily watched us from behind some trees, then he walked by us and told us we were "disgraceful", but in a playful way. I don't know who he was but I think he was young and cute, I'm not sure. I'll have to keep my eyes open for him. Someone also told me that the blacksmith is gorgeous and stealing all the young girls' hearts, but I guess I'll have to wait til Sunday when I get a chance to go out there on site and see!

Speaking of young men... there is a theatre guy that comes in occasionally and while I find him physically attractive, I'm not, like, glomming for him or anything. Anyways, every time he comes in, I say the STUPIDEST things... it's just embarrassing. Shay thinks it's hilarious because I am normally a pretty natural flirt, but it all goes out the window. Geeze.

Also, I have been cantering on Bronwyn. I loves her, she is fun. Shay got some pictures of her last night.

I'm still kickin!

I'm still alive, I just don't have time to write... right now.

The worst day followed by the best day... and now I'm grumpy again.

I was WAY off on my game today at work. Yesterday, A promised me room 1, which means that I get the first table of the day and stay open til the end of the day. If you're in room 3 or 4 (like I was yesterday), you close early and "get" to go home early. Normally, this is welcome. This week, not so much. You see, in the last fourteen days, as of Friday, I will have had 6 of them off, and of those 8 days worked, I will have spent 2 days in room 3, one day in room 4, one day at the ice cream parlour, and one day on a TOUR (today).

Tours are crappy. We only had about nine customers each and they rarely tip well because they're saving their money for later or have already spent it all as they're on a bus tour of All-Over-Creation. Aside from tipping very little, you don't get to keep the tips laid down on your tables, you have to share them with not only the other waitress who may have served less or more or gotten less or more tips on their tables, but also the cook staff who helped you. I understand that it's nice for them to get tips, too, but this means my total take home in tips today was less than 8 dollars... and frankly, I can't afford to work like this.

I can't have an $8/hr job and not be making at least $12/day in tips... but K needed training and A wanted me to do it instead of J because I'm a better waitress, I guess. Yes, please punish me for being good at my job.

I also had to drive the truck to work which puts me in an automatic bad mood, and to make things worse, it was on EMPTY when I got in. I had no money to put gas in so I prayed and stressed all the way to work hoping I would get there without running out. I did, and was relieved that, working in room 1, I would make enough to pay my gas home... then I found out I had to do a tour... I was quite upset. In the end, I still had to borrow $7 from the other waitress to make sure I could get home gaswise. Like, $7 doesn't even pay my gas, grr! Also, laundry sidetracked me and yelled at me immediately when I came in the door for turning my daycap in every time I turn in my dress (which I did not know I wasn't supposed to do), then cookstaff yelled at me for something stupid, and then J got all huffy with me for some stupid reason... then the same cookstaff who yelled at me earlier snapped him in the face with a wet dishtowel. We're allowed to hate each other, but if someone else gets in on the fray, they're in trouble.

Yesterday, I was yelled at at least twice. In general, it doesn't bother me but when I'm already having a crappy day, I felt like crying most of the day. Then I found out that one of my favorite cooks quit... boo.

So I came home all grumpy like and decided to ride Bronwyn and proceeded to have the MOST AMAZING RIDE EVER on her. She is such a doll. She is finally starting to "get it" about riding, moving forward, leg and voice cues. After trotting her for quite a bit, deciding I definitely need better support for the... erm.. girls.. working her up to a good sweat and getting a lot accomplished, Shay came up to the ring to talk to me and I had her open the gate for me and I took Bronwyn out the pasture. She has never been ridden outside of her little ring or in the yard and she was quite forward but handled everything SO well. I rode her up the hill (when I rode Angel up the hill the first time, she backed down sideways, not a very pleasant experience) which she took well and took her time coming back down, really working her hind end to hold her back instead of glomming on her front end... then I rode her into the pond and let me tell you I have NEVER had a horse that enjoys water like she does. I didn't go in too far because I was afraid she would roll... then I took her back to the barn. What a moof. I love her and wouldn't trade her for the world.

Boo!

I had to work at the ice cream parlour today... definitely not what I was hired for, but it works. The only good part, however, about working at the ice cream parlour was that I could wear whatever I wanted. It was SO boring, even though I had J for company. I ate more stuff than I should have, too - spent too much money, because I was SO friggin' bored.

One thing that definitely made it worthwhile was seeing 4 adult Canadian Geese on our back lot along with about a dozen goslings in furry feather. They waddled down our green and into the river, and it definitely made my day. I am not cut out to be an ice cream scooper, but the sighting made things worthwhile.

While I was waiting for someone to come and unlock the parlour for me, I meandered over to chat with one of the teamsters. I inquired about the big Canadian mare that the security guard was telling me has some "personality" issues, then went over to visit her. She was not outwardly aggressive, but I found her very defensive when I reached across the fence to pet her. The smaller of the two mares was just soaking up the attention, loving on me and letting me love on her, and the bigger mare stood there, but was not interested in interaction. The teamster told me she was no good - she is okay to handle when you get your hands on her but not worth her weight in dogfood in the harness - she kicks and jigs and charges about when she's in gear. He said she was used for wagon rides before, and the site even went so far as to buy her wagon she was used with previously but she's no better.

I personally think she may have been used for pulling, based on what he describes. I think, just from the two interactions (limited as they were), that she is disrespectful and no one has taught her to be respectful, and have only used brute force to get their way, thus making her scared. She sure is defensive - I've never met a horse that I could truly say that about, but that's how I was reading her behaviour. I would sure love to get my hands on her. The teamster said he wanted to hook her with one of the big percherons that could hold her and then tire her out because he thinks she's just "too full of energy" - not the problem I suspect, but I think hooking her to someone that can hold her might be a good idea. Beyond that, I think she needs some trust.

Anyways, I kind of put my feelers out there, telling him if they got rid of her, I would like to know... I just love problematic horses. :P It's a hobby, anyways, and I just love succeeding.

Speaking of succeeding, I put Bronwyn in the pond yesterday and over a tarp and she never hesitated or blinked an eye, just blindly trusted that I was not putting her in any danger. She's so smart and levelheaded!

Back when I knew it all...

I'm not very happy with work right now. I had Tuesday and Wednesday off, and then I went in for work Thursday... they told me I had Friday and Saturday off and they didn't know if I had to come in for work on Sunday or not. That means I will have had 3 days on in this week (from Saturday to Saturday), which is... really not cool. I am pretty sure this was advertised as a "full time" job. That said, some days when it is slow, two servers shut down their rooms and go home early, giving us about 4 hours instead of 6 (which is all we get per day anyways)... so this next paycheque is not going to be pretty, I don't reckon. They cut a couple of shifts off of me because there is a girl that they hired for the summer but that can't come to work because she has to do Co Op for school but they want to give her a few shifts so she can come back to work for the Christmas dinners. So kind of ticked off, but I have been told that things will change after the Canada Day weekend and be back up to snuff hourswise plus we'll be making something like 40-50$ per day in tips.

Other than that, as a followup to my not so gracious last post about being envious of others, I should say that yes, I do actually have a very blessed life - just blessed differently - I have a great, supportive family, a steady roof over my head, a novel with some professional interest in it, horses that make me happy from day to day... do I really have room for a family in there? Maybe not?

Envy...

The night before last, I really hoped my Australian boy would come back to my dreams, but alas, he stayed away and I dreamt about work, instead. Specifically about being laid off at the Inn and going back to the Nackawic call center for a few months, which therefore made that dream a nightmare. I even laid in bed before I fell asleep thinking about the envisionment of said blonde Australian... alas, no.

Peter called Ann at work yesterday to tell her that they had found Joe, one of the correspondants from Orlando, dead in his condo over the weekend. He was only 34, but I suspect he lived an exceptionally extravagant lifestyle and that may have been his undoing. I really enjoyed Joe and especially loved his visits - he was friendly and sweet... and once, Peter told him that donair meat was horsemeat and I was present to see his face melt into the most disgusted expression I have ever seen. He then waltzed over to me, knowing that I have horses, and asked "Is donair meat really made of horse?", and then I told him no, and he was relieved, but it took some convincing for him to settle down.

I hate the mood that I am in as a result of that stupid dream about the Australian. It makes me moody. It's no secret that my maternal instinct has been going really haywire for the last year and all I want to do is get married and make babies and be a wifey who makes boxes of cookies for the neighbors and dinner parties in her home... alas, for three years, I have been completely void of the potential man to make that instinct realize itself.

It just gets worse when I see people that I don't like getting all those things - married, having babies, etc. I have serious family envy. Don't get me wrong - someone like Tiffany, I am over the moon thrilled for - I'm not envious of her at all, but when I see people that I dislike or who treated me wrong in school getting married, having babies, getting on with their lives, I think to myself - I am a much nicer/more honest/better person than them, I deserve that way more than they do!

I am still holding out hope to meet someone at work, maybe? LOL There were a couple of cute young Irish boys in yesterday, but with their grandparents and father, and maybe a little too young, not MAN enough... Then there is a cute boy in the theatre department that I gave gingerbread to - he is cute but I've heard he's a manwhore. I just can't win!

I'm weak in the knees for you...

I wiped out outside of the reception hall yesterday and at first I thought I hurt my ankle and turned it over (same ankle that I sprained back in November), but when I got up this morning, the muscle on the inside of my leg right above my knee felt genuinely "tweaked". Oi!

I had a strange dream last night about a blonde Australian guy. Apparently, in the dream, if I recall correctly, he was just in this boarding house we lived in that was old (like King's Landing old). Then a tornado came along and tore off part of the roof so we had to decide to move out, and decided to move to somewhere near the water. When I have dreams about a beach, it's always the same beach - there are about 40ft sheer rock cliffs framing a little bay, about twenty feet of sand and then a kind of bay area that always has killer whales in it, sometimes dolphins also - it is fed (or feeds into) a narrow river where the orcas sometimes go as well. Anyways, we decided to move into these little tents and hovels on the beach and he decided to move in with me, and the most poignant scene of the dream, where it is usually the beach and seeing the whales, was us standing and embracing for quite some time...

Which made me realize that it's been some time since someone besides my family hugged or touched me and I think that is what I feel the worst about about being single -- I don't even know if I want a relationship, but I do want that physical touch. Bah, it must just be the weddings and stuff going on lately that's got me feeling weird.

Today...

I was an official wedding photographer.



Jill of all trades, mistress of none. :(

You got me begging you for mercy...

Submissions: 46 Rejections: 18 Requests: 1

I am not letting myself get too excited over the request for five pages of manuscript - I think my novel has to be read in it's entirety to be appreciated, but this is at least a start. The fact that this agent has requested more after my query letter means they think it's worth a read, and they're not going to be the only ones that do!

I was starting to get a little bit discouraged. It's just disheartening to send out so many and get so many flat out no's without requests for more material. It's all good, though - this email has given me the encouragement I need to push on and continue. SOMEONE out there wants this book, SOMEONE out there will think it's worth publishing, and hopefully, lots of SOMEONES will buy it. I don't expect to get rich and famous but once you've been published, it's easier to sell other books to agents.

Work is going alright - we had a tour group where I handled 21 who all sat at the same time. I worked myself into a tizzy because I wrote down the orders in the wrong order and then was having trouble reading them but things worked out fine in the end - I did the best I could and no one was upset or angry and that is what counts best. I only got $11 in tips, though, and that was all I did all day, so kind of a write off and a piss off, but I'll get over it.

Today I get a room with tables (yay) instead of the tour, so hopefully I will garner some more there. The girls were asking me yesterday if I was making more here than at my first call center job and I had to think about it - if you calculate the benefits in, no.. then they said I hadn't seen the July/August tips you garner, so I wasn't convinced yet, but I would be. (Yay!)

Anyways, off to work today and tomorrow and then I have Saturday off for Nicole's wedding where I'm taking pictures. Hopefully I don't mess that up majorly.

Finally taking a breather and musings on happiness!

I had a day off today and I really needed it. After working in the kitchen at the family restaurant on Friday (I made chowder and it was good!), we opened our restaurant (and the site) on Saturday. I went in at 10:30 to prep, then we had two groups totalling approximately 125 people in for an evening function. I left the restaurant at 10:30pm - so 12 hours and 105$ in tips later... I felt okay, but my legs felt like they were falling off. Sunday, I worked regular restaurant hours (got out by 4:30), but the damage to my feet is already done. My big toe on my left foot is quite numb and sore and I am thinking possibly permanent damage since my shoes aren't big enough for both my feet and the insoles I put in them despite buying them a size too big on purpose. Saturday, I sweated off 3lbs. Sunday I sweated off 2. I am down a total of 10lbs, putting me exactly where I was (because I had gained ten back after losing 30 total) the summer right before Angel died.

This is kind of a coincidence because the other day, I was reading an old journal/diary from that summer... and I read the report that I was, at that snapshot in time, the happiest I could remember ever being - losing weight, spending some great time with a fantastic and talented horse, and feeling good about myself. All of that crumbled in August of that year and "Wake Me Up When September Ends" became my theme song. I put on the 10lbs, I felt miserable, and I never felt "really" happy again until this spring when I felt something start coming on that I couldn't explain.

Last week, I put my finger on it. I am, once again, losing weight and working with an immensely talented horse and having a great time. My parents gave me so much grief over Bronwyn when I first got her, and mom still is tempted to. I tried to explain to her that while I love Ari and Rex, B makes me happy... like Angel used to. She didn't understand and didn't want to really hear it. I love my mom but she makes up her mind about things and it's damn near impossible to change them.

My dad on the other hand, completely "gets it". Shay told me that he said to her that he wished I would find a boyfriend. He said he'd just like to see me happy and having a good time - I have been so busy and cloistered on the farm, he wants to see me making time for myself and having fun. Then I told him that while I understood that he and mom never felt so hot about Bronwyn, she made me happy the way that Angel did. He said to me - "I knew that on that day this spring when you got on her for the first time and I could see that she trusted you and you trusted her. I haven't questioned her presence on the farm since. In fact, I'd like to have a dozen more like her." Even though I was already feeling a little bit soppy in the eyes, that sealed the deal. To think that when I was 16-17, I was planning on running away just because of this man, and to see how far we have come since then also makes me immensely happy.

I even got a rejection today from the one agency that I really really WANTED to take my book and it's not really phasing me because this realization is eclipsing everything else.

Blargh.

Submissions: 46 Rejections: 11 Requests: 0

I upped the ante a little bit this morning so it didn't seem so sad having so many rejections to so few submissions. Go me.

This sickness has come on funny - one major symptom seems to present itself each day and make a general nuisance of itself before backing off and letting another take the main stage.

For example, Saturday when I began to feel ill, it was just a small tickle in my throat - Sunday, it was a full blown, so-sore-I-only-ate-ice-cream sore throat. Monday, it backed off and I was seriously fatigued - like, absolutely no energy what-so-ever. Tuesday, the fatigue backed off and I developed a disgusting cough that wouldn't leave me alone, and finally today... the cough is mostly gone but a stuffy nose is on the menu. I am hoping this means that I will have run the gammut of the entire sickness prior to opening day on Saturday when I will likely be working a double shift. I hope.

And then the lobster came and ate me.

I have to redo a submissions/rejections count because I have had a few more responses and am up to like 35 submissions now. It does get depressing getting rejections (I think I am up to like 10 now), but I know all it can take is one "yes" and I have it. It's just hard to keep thinking positive, and then I worry that I will run out of listings on Agent Query to query to... Ahhh! I am starting to get some stress. Someone needs to at least request a partial manuscript submission so I can get a confidence boost.

Primarily, I called in sick yesterday in the morning. I was pretty tired after stressing all night about the horses and being sick, so I called S and told her I didn't know if I would be in shape to work. She didn't seem too upset. I took some serious meds and put myself to bed for about four hours and when I woke up, had something to eat, took a shower and felt a lot better. I called the Inn back and John asked S if she could still use me - she said "Bring it on!".

In retrospect, it took a lot out of me and possibly delayed my healing, but I'm glad I got out there - if not for the experience, then for the $90 in tips I earned. :) There was a moment, when I was sitting on the porch in the courtyard in the dark, listening to our guests leaving and taking a quick breather before we started tearing things down that I thought to myself that I really enjoy the job and I think I will do fine all summer, despite having my doubts left right and center almost constantly since I got hired.

The group last night, overall, was really fun. Quite a few attractive younger men, friendly older men and some really good tippers (I got an $11 tip on a $28 bottle of wine!). This is so silly but sometimes I almost feel sexy in my floor length, chin height, elbow length sleeved dress and my daycap, lol. Though sometimes I do wish it was a 1700's style dress instead of an 1800's when Victoria made everyone modest.

I am getting a seriously runny nose now, though... it's so not good.

There are some real crazies out there!

Submissions: 22 Rejections: 7 Requests:0

I am really sick now. I feel terrible and I didn't get much sleep last night. It's "just" a cough and a sore throat but having never worked in the food service industry before, I don't know what's "too sick". I also feel bad because S really scrounged to find enough servers for this event and the tips are a guaranteed 15%.

We got a really disturbing phone call last night. Five years ago, we had a severely aggressive (dog and people) american bulldog dumped on us to "dispose of". We told the kids who used to own him that we sent him to live at a junkyard and he ran out in front of a car and got hit (when they started talking about going to visit him). We did away with the dog because we weren't going to put our name on a dog like that out in public. I guess my cousin (17), one of the kids, overheard another cousin talking about disposing of the dog with my dad. His sister (19 or so) called here and politely asked what had happened to the dog. We stuck with the junkyard story until the 17 year old called back about five minutes later, screaming and swearing and making threats against the horses ("Maybe you'd like to have some of your horses's throats slashed!", etc), calling names, etc.

We haven't seen this kid in three or four years and as a younger child, he had absolutely no regard for animal life so we don't know what he could or would do... we called the RCMP and filed an official report of the threat - just in case. I didn't sleep well last night and probably won't all week, but I doubt anything will happen - and if it does, the RCMP knows the first place to look. We also clarified what, exactly, someone is allowed to do to protect their personal property.

Getting caught up... and sick!

Submissions: 22 Rejections: 6 Requests: 0

We served our second group on Friday, also a group of UK tourists. They were sweet and very understanding. Things don't feel as forced and difficult as they did on Wednesday, in fact I was a whiz with taking orders and getting the main course and beverages out, but when it came to clearing tables, getting desserts out and getting the bill out, things slowed down and gummed up a little bit for me. I did learn not to write my order out side to side because when I start writing the bill, things get confused, so from now on I'll just write it up and down. The end. Things will be easier next time.

Speaking of next time, our next planned dinner is a 120 seat lobster dinner on Monday night. I am starting to come down with an icky cold, I hope I can serve at it because the tips will be killer as everything has already had a 15% tip billed into it. Yippee!

After that, I am not sure what we'll be doing all next week. We've got all the cleaning done and on Thursday, there was so little for us to do that we all took turns running the power floor buffer thing and watching each other slip and slide around the degreased floor and hoping someone would fall and laughing our butts off (note, our supervisor commenced this activity!). They sent us home right after the dinner on Friday... so yeah, I have no idea if I'll be working next week or not, but I probably need to rest up for opening day when I will probably have to do a 14 hour shift. Joy.

Last night, I went to Tiffany and Jamie's for her little housewarming party. For a while, it was just Katrina and Dusty and I there, then they left to go and watch a game, and Tiffany and I went back to Fredericton to pick up Kyle, who had already started drinking. He was the only one really drinking (though Jamie had a few), but it was so nice to visit with these people, some of whom I haven't seen in like two years (I think Kyle and I decided we hadn't seen each other since I had Becca and Kylie here, and it's definitely been longer than that since I saw Tiffany!). Anyways, we all fell back in and chatted like nothing had ever left off and I can definitely see myself coming to visit Tiffany more often - it's a shame gas is so expensive or I would be there all the friggin' time! She has a nice little place and it's in a nice spot - not TOO far from everything, but far enough away that you're not raising a kid on the sidewalks.

I just hope this stupid sickness doesn't knock me out for the dinner Monday!

More Baptism!

Submissions: 18 Rejections: 6 Requests: 0

So today was my first day of serving and despite the nightmare I had last night about S thinking my dress had too much white in it, I handled it just fine. It was nerve wracking but I managed okay. The hostess followed me around to the tables, advising me, and making sure I didn't forget anything. I didn't forget much (except I did carry the buspan in to the room to be efficient, but since they didn't have buspans in 1855, I had to leave it outside and lug out soup bowls, main course plates, side plates, dessert bowls, and biscuit bowls (4 on each table) in trips - so I made like 100 trips to clear just the first course! I got several compliments on my dress, and quite a few comments that I was doing a good job - they announced ahead of time that we were in training, though, so everyone knew that they were dealing with a n00b. :) Only like $12 in tips, but considering they arrived at 1 and we were all cleaned up, all dishes done, etc by 3, that's not bad for 2 hour's work, and that will put my gas in for the rest of the week. :)

I have another dinner group on Friday, and I am hoping to make enough tip money to go to Tiffany's housewarming bonfire thingie, at least for an appearance. We shall see how things work out!

Baptism By Fire

Work has been going crazy - not as in crazy busy but just crazy boring. The days drag on forever. Today, I spent the entire day in front of the Hobart industrial dishwasher. It reminded me of the Hobart mixer they had in the kitchen at summer camp when I took the cooking session and they told me the baker called it "Hobie" for short. All of this food service stuff is making my head feel like exploding.

Tomorrow, they have Josh and I serving a group of 45. I have never served anyone ANYTHING before, so I am not sure how that will work out. Amber plans to go in, and acting as a hostess, remind everyone inside that we are in training and new to the job so to not be mean bitches, though I am sure you get some in every bunch. Luckily, they are only ordering off of the preseason menu which has like, two soups, a couple of sandwiches and two dessert options - there may be 10 menu options total, if that, so it's not like I have to remember the ingredients/prep of an extensive menu, but I haven't had a chance to really look at the preseason menu and memorize that. Hopefully, I will have a chance to do that tomorrow before the group arrives for lunch, and also find out what salad dressings we offer, and if iced tea and lemonade are the only drinks we serve besides "libations".

Today, I discovered that the shoes I purchased were even on the list of recommended shoes (shoes "similar to" the shoes on the list would have been suitable as well). I will have to buy better shoes later because I know those $20 shoes aren't going to hold up my feet for long shifts, but they look good and 1855-ish, so that's all that matters. I also drove S's van to Laundry to make sure they had changed the lace on my dress and let the hem down (or did they bring it up, I can't remember?), which they did. They are also trying to find me the right daycap but I don't know if it's gonna happen.

Anyways, I am nervous out of my mind! Agh!

Working for the weekend, yes I am!

Aaaaagh. Work is making me exhausted. I think it's the waking up first thing in the morning thing. We didn't even do much today and I was nearly falling asleep.

Yesterday, I helped with dishes and burnt my fingertips on hot blue willow, then I washed down the walls in the kitchen servery and cleaned out a milk dispenser. Then I meandered into the garden and found J and K working on candlesticks and wall sconces so I spent the rest of the day melting wax out of old candle sticks, then melting wax INTO them and setting new candles in, trying to Windex old ratty mirrors with broken pieces and stabbing myself with a butter knife. I also got cuts under both of my thumbnails and those hurt like bitches.

Today, we finished and hung all the wall sconces except for the ones for the Simeon Jones room, then I followed Sar around for the rest of the day, doing random little things... I washed off all the tables that had already been washed off, we sat in the pub downstairs for a while, I cleaned out nasty pickle jars from 1989, then we cleaned the staff room which was disgusting (read: poop in the flush from last season!, and then the long back room which was what some like to call a "clusterfuck" of useless things that someone obviously put down there because they thought they might need someday - so it was basically rearranging stuff so it looked less like a mess. Then we knocked off an hour and a half early because there was literally nothing else for us to do.

Monday, we clean the ice cream parlor and head for the family restaurant to clean and set up. We have our first group in Wednesday and I hope I get to work it because I am desperate to figure out what the heck I am doing and how to do it. Then we have a group on the 30th, 31st, and a 120 seat lobster dinner on the 2nd of June - all before the site even officially opens! I am sure my legs will be falling off by then and I will have bored everyone with eight million stupid questions.

Sar was very good to me today, discussing things and explaining stuff, and answering all of my dumb questions about serving even though she knows I will be asking them again in the future. When I first met her, I was not sure I would like her very well, but I actually like her a lot. She was also a never-been-a-waitress-waitress when she got hired by S in the first place, and she expressed the same thing I did - I am relieved that S took a chance on someone that didn't have two clues to rub together about waitressing.

Day one of work in!

I am sleepy but I didn't even do any work today! We sat in the lodge and listened to a big presentation all morning, then we had lunch in the KHI garden area, and sat in the sun all afternoon, listening to S tell us about policy and procedure. They hold two week's pay but we have event groups coming in three days before the end of the month so that will give me some tip money (yippee!). The boys also told me that we get to keep all our tips during our regular shifts but during group events, we share them - which isn't a problem with me at all, I just need the freakin' cash.

I also met with wardrobe today and had a dress fitted for me. They have to make me another because the only other available in my size had a ridiculously short bodice and the skirt was about a foot too short for me!

Ahhh, now I feel like taking a nap!

Can't get anything done right!

Ugh, if the last two days have not been glaring examples of me dropping the ball, I don't know what will be.

I was awoken this morning by a call - I WAY overslept (it was 11am). I hear, on the other line "Did you forget you started work today?" (Please note that this is, like, my all time nightmare - forgetting to go to work). I just about had a heart attack and then I remembered - I had training last week but NO ONE mentioned ANYTHING about any more training and I was going to call S this morning to ask her about it. She beat me to the punch, I guess. So she said it was alright and to come in tomorrow, we're just cleaning the restaurant and getting it ready for the opening weekend. She also made me call to arrange for a costume fitting. The costume ladies want me in tomorrow (presumably because I am so frickin' late to the ball - everyone at training last week had been in all week and such) afternoon while I am supposed to be at the restaurant cleaning... hopefully S will let me sneak away for X minutes for them to arrange my costuming.

Last night, I was also so desperate not to work on my synopsis that I traded Shay for it. I drew a picture of a church burning for her The Outsiders paper bag project and she was going to work on my synopsis for me! It has been so long since she read the book that she forgot what it was about, lol. Oh well, she ended up not doing anything on my "snotnopsis" and I haven't done any work on it in ages, either. I am having a really hard time sitting myself down and focusing on it. I've even started Marco and Abrianna's story already, which I promised myself I wouldn't do until I got at least 20 queries for "No One Else" on the road.

I'm kicking myself, you can see!

Plus, I have been sleeping a stupid amount, too. I don't know why, but I sleep til like 11 - usually I don't sleep that much at all. I think I am just getting restless and antsy because I haven't been to work or out of the house very much over the last 11 weeks. Thank God, we're cleaning the rest of this week and probably next week, too. I'm just glad I didn't miss any major training!

Then I have to get the 14th off to photograph Nicole's wedding. Agh!

Add to that, I haven't done a blessed thing with my ponies in days, no riding, no nothing. I'm not working, I'm not getting my chores done -- what the heck am I doing with all my time!